I found a libertarian paradise,
but you’re not going to like it. Things turn up where you least expect them.
You shouldn’t be surprised, though. The habit of reading premodern books is a
rich enterprise and exposes much unexpected terrain.
My own habit is to delve into so-called orientalist
books, European accounts of the East, and sometimes vice versa, during the
Golden Years of Empire. This maligned literature has much to recommend it to
every contrarian. This is the literature Edward Said says you no longer need to
read.
Amongst it are works by that fascinating and
anachronistic group, upper-class converts to Mohammadanism, well-to-does who,
as the saying went, “turned Turk.” They are very different to our contemporary
Turk turners. These days, converts (or ‘reverts’ as they like to be called) come
from a different socioeconomic strata altogether, and are an untidy bunch by
comparison. In Victorian times the exotic creed of the Ottomans (speaking of
Empires) had a different cache. Let’s not forget Carlyle, too. There was a
Mohammadan!
Another one was Mohammad Marmaduke Pickthall.
Famously, he rendered the Koran into English and defended the appropriation
before the hostile jurists in Cairo in fluent classical Arabic sweating
bullets. An educator, he championed the education of boys for the Nizam of
Hyderabad.
He came to the faith and lifted his forefinger for
Allah after a libertarian vision. It is recorded in his early travel writings.
One sunny day in the Levant, strolling through hinterlands, he chanced upon a
world that struck him as a veritable paradigm of freedom. He wanted to sign up
straightaway but respectfully waited till his mother died, lest his heathenism
disappoint her.
The world he describes is, I want to say, nomocratic. That’s the thing about
Mohammadanism. It’s not a political creed. It’s a legal system. Like Judaism.
In fact, it’s a continuation of, or abrogation of, Jewish Law, the ultimate
Jewish heresy, except for Christianity (which abolishes Jewish Law and, by
default, accedes to Roman Law, but that’s another story.) On the ground,
Mohammadanism is a legal system. Which is to say it’s upside down.
It’s upside down to libertarians because they think
that laws are bad. (Laws restrict. Restriction bad.) The less laws the better. I
actually like one of those Pythagorean city-states down on the toe of Italy
that had a few laws written on stone and they prevailed forever and a day. You
could propose new ones, or changes to the old ones, and everybody would vote on
it. But if the proposal was rejected, you died. A solid, if inflexible, legal
minimalism.
Mohammadan law is inflexible too, but rather than
minimalistic, it is absolutely pervasive. There are laws about how to clean your
teeth in Mohammadanism, namely exactly the way Mohammad cleaned his teeth.
There are laws based on his favorite sexual positions. It’s not quite
monolithic, though. There is a spectrum of interpretation, to be sure, but
there’s always the expectation that every aspect of human behavior needs
legislation. Everything. Needless to say, there are no Taliban libertarians.
But the Taliban are a new phenomenon, a new
political phenomenon, as are all Mohammadan modern states. Here the intrusive
apparatus of the modern state imposes the law (Sharia) from the top down. In
Saudi Arabia the religious police will give you a thrashing if they catch you
resting on your left elbow rather than your right.
This is nothing like what Marmaduke Pickthall found
during his oriental adventures. Rather he describes rural and semi-rural
communities deeply embedded in a fabric of religious law and local ancestral
custom such that there was no need for police or even judges: if an offense was
committed, elders would form a court to sort it out. Conservative, no doubt,
but stable, and ordered without any overbearing external authority. Your father
might give you a slap if you introduce one of those modern Western toothbrushes
instead of cleaning your teeth with a chewed stick the way the Razool did it,
but at least there weren’t any policemen or a state planning to put
surveillance cameras in your bathroom.
Not that there was a lack of authority, though. And
this is where Neoreaction steps in and schools the libertarians in the matter
of power. In this case, the power in question is the biggest power there is.
Allah Almighty. And amongst gods – if one may dare say such a thing – he is the
mightiest of all. There’s simply no other conception of divinity to match it. This
is a god you can’t argue with. So His law is uncontested and incontestable.
But, for the most part, He doesn’t enlist policeman.
A good 90% of Sharia is, in fact, an entirely private matter, between the
Musselman and his Creator, whereby Allah enforces His law by the tried-and-true
method of stick and carrot, Hellfire and Virgins. And there’s always the
over-riding caveat that man was created weak as piss and Allah knows it and has
promised to take all the design limitations into account. His Mercy outweighs
His Wrath. (There’s a lot of weighing in Mohammadanism. Traders. Shopkeepers.)
This rarefied, all-powerful, transcendent Being –
root of all Being – presides over the police-less villages of Ottoman Levant.
What sort of liberty do you want? A minimum of laws, or a minimum of
enforcement? Anybody wearing the prefix anarcho- will say both, but what if
it’s one or the other? What if you drive past a speed limit sign – 60 mph – but
you know there are no traffic cops? They retired all traffic cops long ago. No
one is going to enforce it. What if speed limits were just recommended?
But then, what if it was God Almighty, who
recommended it, and said if you disobey it and you die in a crash don’t expect
any sympathy from Him! No virgins for you! He didn’t put up speed signs for His
own amusement, you know. Only an idiot would ignore them. And, over time, anyway,
a rich code of customs and traditions of courtesy – hand signals,
gesticulations, horns, flashing lights etc. - developed among drivers such that miscreant drivers were
shamed behind the wheel. Don’t you know God’s limit?
In a Mohammadan nomocracy, God sets all limits. I
say law is pervasive – and that’s a Mercy because man is as forgetful as a
maggot – and yet, in principio, in the beginning all things were permitted. God
only sets limits to constrain man from the self-harming proclivities of a
free-willed creature. (This is the curly bit of Mohammadan theology – free-will
and predestination – and the bit that the arch Dark Prince of quasi-Mohammadans
Calvin lifted into a usurious context.)
All the same, what we have is a sedate
semi-pastorale, a fabric, a rug, a weave, of immutable religious law, along
with all the necessary adaptations to the local temperament. Alcohol’s a big
one for Mohammadans. Ask the Turks. Or try to buy a drink in Riyahd. It can be
done, of course. My Arab friends really like good Scotch. Some jurists say an
occasional glass of ginger beer isn’t going to hurt. The Koran only talks about
wine; it doesn’t say anything about fermented fennel liquor. There are always
ways. If there was a local tipple with ancestral connotations, it was likely to
survive the imposition of Sharia, in the long run.
I can’t resist recounting that story of the Italian
diplomat who turned Turk back in the day. He lived in Istanbul. When an old friend
from Italy visited one time he was surprised to be offered a glass of fine
wine. “But I thought Mohammadans don’t drink,” he said. To which the disgraced
diplomat replied, “I’m just as good a Mahommadan as I was a Catholic.”
You see, anarcho-libertarians and the like should
all rest easy – nature does win in the end. Laws can only ever shape it. As it
is, Mohammadanism makes lots of concessions to nature. Four wives. And what
about the Shi’ites and the wholesome institution of short-term marriage as a
concession to nature? The Mohammadan instinct is to bring everything, even
promiscuity, under the merciful guidance of Al-Rabb, the Lord.
Also al-Malik. The King. The King of Kings. Nerds
for monarchy pay attention. Herein is a different model of Kingship. Strictly
speaking, earthly kings – exercising or claiming real sovereignty that is – are
haram. All those post-colonial so-called “kings” in the Mohammadan world are an
historical abberration. Allah doesn’t much like kings. He doesn’t like kings in
much the same way He doesn’t like other gods. Sovereignty belongs to Him. All
others are pretenders. (You can tell those loathsome Wahhabi characters, the
Sauds, are pretenders, can’t you? It’s pretty obvious. You might have noticed
that Mohammadans don’t do kingship very well. This is why.)
So, what we have in this nomocracy, is a fabric of
custom, lore and Law on the ground, governed by a vastly transcendent Abrahamic
version of Plato’s One-and-the-Good way, way, way up in the stratosphere. Imagine
a village, a community, a patchwork, if you will, governed by an absolute
monarch located in a satellite in geo-stationary orbit 600 miles overhead. He
governs, primarily, by the Noble Lie of Hellfire and Virgins, and yet for effective
power there must be something, some agent, between the earth and the sky.
Otherwise we’re in a nominalist power vacuum and everything sinks to the bleak
equality of the desert. That’s the real problem with Mohammadanism. Not
nomocracy, but nominalism. If you put Sovereignty way up there in the sky, you
end up with a flat earth.
Did I mention Calvin? Neoreaction points the finger
at Calvin. And rightly so. But the rot really begins with Mohammadanism. Or
rather, by the infiltration of Mohammadanism into Christendom where it becomes
pernicious. First among the aristocracy. (They couldn’t resist all those shiny
sweet-smelling goods from the East. See what Petrarch has to say about it.) Then the Church. What is Protestantism but
a Christianity rejigged in the Mohammadan mode? If you turn the Christian God
into Allah don’t be surprised that the Church – an edifice of intercession –
starts to dissolve.
Yes, nominalism and nomocracy share an etymology.
But Allah is not a dill. He knows that you can’t govern effectively from up in
a satellite, not without a deputy, some necessary human agent. Slave and Caliph
is the Mohammodan polarity. It works pretty much like power exchange in BDSM.
Allah is Master. You are slave. Obey. That’s one device in this nomocracy – slave
mentality. Nietzche gets all this wrong. Orwell gets it right but for entirely the
wrong reason: Slavery is freedom. The free Mohammadan can, in the end, declare
himself slave to Allah above and to no man, and defy all human pretense. Allahu
akbar!
This is actually what Luther did. Another
quasi-Mohammadan dressed up as a neo-primitive Christian. I could go on about
this Mohammadan-Protestant connection. It’s very important. You see, it is no
accident that Pickthall – like others Turk turners of those times – was first
of all a Unitarian. That whole Unitarian Trinity-skeptical theme in
Protestanism, the Quakerism, etc., is rife among the proto-progressives of the
Early Modern age and it is coming into Christendom on camels! Some serious
thinking needs to be done on this. It’s no accident that the Hammer and Sickle
is a modification of the Mohammadan crescent and star. You see, dissenting Christians
feared that the God-forsaken Mohammadans were better Christians than the
Christians: there’s the real roots of the progressive genealogy.
Queen Victoria investing the Ottoman Sultan, Adul Aziz (Slave of the Almighty), with the Order of the Garter. But it’s benign in the Mohammadan context. Because
there’s a Caliph. Or in this case the Sultan. These happy folk in Pickthall’s
vision had photographs of their Sultan on their lounge room walls, but they’d
never actually met him, or even anyone who knew him, but he was appointed by
God Above, and he was a good man. They were happy that he lived 500 miles away.
They paid him some sheep and goats in the springtime and in return he made sure
hostile armies didn’t upset the status quo. Very wisely, he had no interest in policing
how they cleaned their teeth.
Modern Mohammadan states are not like this, are
they? No. Your gut instinct about them is correct. They are an ambomination.
The worst of both worlds. A pervasive religious nomocracy AND an intrusive
state increasingly bent on using technology and pseudo-science to micromanage
the citizenry. It’s not enough that your family will shame you if you sleep
with someone you shouldn’t: the state thinks it’s its business as well and
makes it a crime. In its best examples, though, the premodern Mohammadan order,
as Pickthall observed, could produce happy outcomes. The Sultan didn’t need to
fuck with people’s lives. His job was to protect the borders, keep peace and
build a High Culture back in Istanbul. On an every day level people were ruled
by the Law in their hearts, by traditional modes of inculturation and by peer
pressure, under the austere but remote sovereignty of Allah al-Malik and the
military umbrella of His equally remote deputy.
Anyway, in all my reading Pickthall’s travel books
provide the most tangible and convincing model of a life that seems to answer
to certain libertarian pipe dreams. The main point being: nomocracy. You can do
without policemen in a well-woven nomocracy, provided you have a Lawmaker no
one can corrupt and a Sultan with a big army watching your back. Noting that
the Sultan doesn’t have legislative power. He doesn’t make laws. He creates the
peace for the Law. Allah makes Law. Locals can adapt it as they will. Locals
know best. If they can be good God-fearing Musselmen and still drink arak,
fine. That is, lots of subsidiarity.
As I have argued elsewhere, the Saidean narrative is
bunk. The Orientalists were, with few exceptions, the first generation of
Europeans to even bother to try to reach an understanding of the Mohammadan devils.
It was a luxury they could afford. Finally – thanks to the corrections of the
Reformation – the world had been set aright and Christendom (although no longer
recognizable as such) was no longer an embarrassing backwater compared to a
more advanced and prosperous “Islamicate” world, to use the newly sanitized,
secularized Whig word you might have noticed coming out of Universities of
recent times. Columbus thought he was sailing to India. Why? To get around the
Mohammadans. It’s a crucial factor in every step towards the modern world. More
broadly, when Mohammad declares himself the last prophet, he is at the same
time declaring himself the first modern man.
Harper McAlpine Black